Do you ever get in one of those moods where you feel like it takes too much energy to smile? I hate feeling down-in-the-dumps for no apparent reason. It is quite unnerving.

Now it is getting darker outside. That doesn't help anything.

Thunder.

Perfect.

I leave for Girls State tomorrow. I'm definitely looking forward to it, but... I don't know. I feel funny about it. I think it is because last year was rough. I just remember being constantly stressed. Hopefully that won't happen again this year. I love doing it. I think that it is one of the most important things I do every year.

At Girls State we (the counselors) go around the room and name off the most exciting thing that has happened to us this year. What will I say? The Italy thing is pretty exciting... but that hasn't actually happened yet. I want to say something other than "I survived being a sophomore at UT" or something. Well, I was pretty excited about getting an actual part in the opera, but I was "Little Girl" and I don't think that really counts. Haha. I should get out my journal and read what I wrote this year. Maybe something really exciting happened that I don't remember. (heh- that seems unlikely)

I'm in a contemplative mood and I don't actually want to be.

It's raining and Olive is outside.... hang on a sec.

Oh- I know another reason why I might not be in the best of moods. I was really excited about going to a new Gastroenterologist yesterday. So, I went, and basically he said there is nothing I can do about my tummy aches. :( He did say they should go away as I get older, but... it was rather depressing, you know?

It is POURING. I think the weather is changing with my mood.

Well, this might be the last entry for about 10 days (while I'm at VGS)... but I am bringing my computer, so I might be able to write some more. I'm not promising anything, though.

I need to learn to just take a deep breath now and then.

Mari

P.S. I miss Ryan too...

And the summer officially begins...

Ryan and I are back from NYC. The trip was too short and we were sick for half of it. UGH. I think I had the flu... ok, not really, but it sure felt like it. Either way, flying back on a plane when your ears are clogged BEFORE you get on, is NOT ideal.

We had an awesome time, though. We saw Alan Alda (the guy from M.A.S.H.) and I think the guy from Outkast (not sure about that one, though.) the first day we got there, which was kinda funny considering we saw no more famous people the whole trip. We did get to watch a rehearsal of the NYC Ballet Company in the State Theatre at Lincoln Center. Aunt Ruth knew the security guard from when she worked there. It was basically Center Stage live. Very cool.

We got to see The Producers which was fabulous. We loved it. It was just a good ole' old fashioned musical. Lots of glitz and glamour. Then we saw The Lion King and it was the opposite. I saw The Lion King the last time I was in NYC but it was so incredible that I wanted Ryan to see it. I didn't mind seeing it again, of course... lol.

Chinatown was crazy. As soon as we got off the Subway a woman whispered "Chanel purses" in our ears and off we went! We followed her to a van (CREEPY) and then she opened it and said to get it. I was like... NO WAY IN HELL. Then my 80-year-old Aunt got in so I figured I could do it too. Ryan stayed outside to make sure they didn't drive us and sell us into slavery. Then they shut the door and showed us the fake Chanels. They were NOT worth getting into a van over, honestly. lol. But, I did get a fake Luis Vuitton (sp?) watch and some sunglasses.

So, now that the excitement of the trip has worn off (and that nasty cold) I'm ready to get organized. ALL the stuff from my dorm is in my tiny little room and there is no room to move around at all. (BTW... I have lots of clothes...) I want to get it all taken care of before I go to Girls State (May 26)... but that might not happen.

Ryan went to Nashville today to start his internship. This will be the first summer we will really have to do the long distance thing. It should suck, but we can do it. I'm going to go visit him and Katie and Casey after Girls State.

I guess that's really all that's new here. Oh, BTW- that self-tanner stuff only works for a little while. It all flaked off my legs and now I'm as white as ever. Ugh. I shan't give in to tanning beds though! I've never been in one and I don't plan on it either. So, there!

Arrivaderci!

Mari

Ok... I know I just wrote the blog below this one, but I realized it was about time for a CSW... so here it is:

Time: It is 12:56 AM and I should be sleeping...
Cracker Barrel: When I was a kid, I hated it. What was I thinking?
My internal clock: screwed up. I should be tired right now. UGH.
My colon: Fine right now, but it could change any second. WHY do I say yes to EVERYONE? "Hey Mari, would you like to come to India with us?" "Sure I would!" "Hey Mari, would you like to do fifteen plays at the same time?" "Sure!" "Hey Mari, are you spread to thin?" "Sure am!"
My parents: I miss them.
Exams: Almost done... Ok, not really. I have 3 papers due soon and 3 exams yet to come. Really, I'm just beginning.
Maple Syrup: not a fan. Strawberry or raspberry is much better. :)
My back: sore
My face: I thought I was done with puberty.
Stephen Colbert: Basically, my hero. His presentation at the White House Correspondents Dinner was AMAZING. He made fun of Bush... and Bush was 4 feet from him. That takes gonads.
Art: I need to do more of it.
Pop Music: I'm OVER IT. I feel like I lose three brain cells everytime "My Humps" comes on the radio. I thought that to sing you had to have talent. Oh, right. This is American pop culture. I forgot.
Carnivale: Man I miss that show... (ok- I'm obsessed... I'll just get it out there and admit it)
My friends at other schools: I miss you!
My friends at other schools who read this blog: I miss you more! (JK)
My roomate: Sleeping... I'm envious. :)
My toenails: This Color
Your Mom: hehehe...
Girls State: On my mind. I'm looking forward to it, but I need to get sleep before I go there.
America: dissapointed is the word
Me: Finally tired! Goodnight... sleep tight... and (Clarissa, especially) don't let the bed bugs bite (a lot... and then you try to get the school to do something and they don't care so you end up having lots of bugs living in your mattress feeding on you at night...)!

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today

I love movies that make you glad you're alive. There are few of them, but Almost Famous happens to be the one I just watched.

I love books. You know that. But, I love visual art. I know movies don't leave much to the imagination visually, but think about it, most movies are no longer that 2 hours (Ok, I know... Titanic, Gone With The Wind, and Shindler's List took longer...). Wonderful stories can be told in days. Where is the story that was before the beginning and after the end of the movie? It's in our imaginations and it can be different for everyone. That is why I really think I could do this. I think that I can tell stories through film. It fascinates me that I can watch a square box with a picture in it, and I can ball or laugh hysterically. I love it. I do NOT want to be famous... I just want to show people a world different from their own.

All I have to do is buy a camera...

Only 8 more days until NYC! Sheesh... I'm ready for school to be OVER. I have NO motivation. It's terrible! I don't think I'm alone, though, so I don't feel so bad.

This summer should be awesome! I will be in NYC, then Girls State, then Arrowmont Internship, then... URBINO, ITALY! I'm really looking forward to this summer. Usually I have boring stuff lined up for the summer like working... ew. But, this summer... I am gonna be havin' a blast. :)

Well, I don't have much else to say. Today is a study day (well... so was yesterday and the day before... but did I study? NO) and I'm going to Tyson Park to sit and study with Katie.

Peace!

Mari

P.S. Everyone must come on May 5 at 7:00 to the Clarence Brown Lab Theatre for my musical theatre class's showcase!